Woo-Hoo! Trent Richardson for Heisman! He's an animal, I tell you, and he's ready for his Heisman close-up after burning Auburn with a career-best 203 yards and a spectacular touchdown catch! Run, Trent, Run! Or in this case, it was Catch, Trent, Catch!
There's a low-grade frenzy that starts about this time of the season; a rumble. It's like a New Year's Eve party beginning a month early, and it's unique to college football. But it's at about this time every year that the melancholies come to visit because more is behind us than is ahead of us - kind of like life, isn't it? Everything gets ramped up a notch or two; coaches are fired or, in Urban Meyer's case, hired - which, come to think of it is unusual at this point in the season. But then, Urban is in a class of unusual that is all his own.
Here's the picture that the Ohio State athletic department used in the press release announcing their new coach:
You see, two years ago, while still the Florida coach, Meyer fell flat out on his bedroom floor (this according to his lovely wife Shelley) and thought he was having a heart attack. The very next day (the day after he lost the SEC Championship Game to Nick Saban and his glorious Tide) he resigned his Florida head coaching job to spend time with his family and take care of his health, only to come right back the next day and say he'd changed his mind. If ever there was television tailor-made for Dr. Phil, that weekend's Urban drama fit the bill to a tee. In what world, I ask you, does this make any sense? Then, a year later, after a less than stellar season and with no invite to the SEC Championship game, and without his star quarterback, he decided that his health was giving him problems, and that he really did need to attend some of his childrens' sporting events, and that he thought he would retire. For real this time. Most likely to never again coach college football. Imagine my surprise when, a month later, there's Urban on the telly, on ESPN, as a commentator during the National Championship Game. A few days later, we learn that he has an office in Bristol and is now working for the network. Hey Urban, what about the ticker? Oh yes, that was just esophageal spasms - bad heartburn? I just knew that we'd hear about Shelley filing for divorce on the next breaking news alert.
Of course, that did not happen. What did happen, though, has the Gator Nation in an absolute uproar, and I don't blame them. Remember, it was barely a year ago when Urban resigned telling everyone that his health and family were the most important things in his life, and that he had to step away from football to work on those things. Add insult to injury, he said he'd probably never again coach college ball. And, apparently he admitted to new coach, Will Muschamp, that Florida's football program was a broken one. And, apparently that's how he left the once-high ridin' Gators - broken. I'm wondering how this whole the Ohio State thing is going to work out for him. Talk about stress - they've got it by the freight loads up there. The Tattoo Scandal; a perhaps-Heisman candidate quarterback who left for the pros a year early to avoid punishment; their legendary coach, Jim Tressel, shamed and fired; NCAA sanctions yet to be handed down. Why, Urban, why?
Urban Meyer will most likely never find another Tim Tebow, arguably (but only by non-Florida fans) the greatest quarterback in college football history. And as we all know, when Tebow graduated from the University of Florida and moved on to the NFL, he took Urban's spirit with him. And that, my friends, is at the crux of Urban Meyer's problems. Yes, he's back home in Ohio - his dream job, which hasn't ended well for past coaches there in decades, and yes he "feels great" now, but I suggest to you that Tim Tebow is still the possessor of Urban Meyer's spirit. We shall see; we shall see.
Wild things happened all weekend. Number 3-ranked Arkansas was absolutely humiliated by the number 1-ranked LSU Tigers. I don't even remember the score, but it could have been 100-3; it was that bad. Bobby Petrino, who should have been thrilled just to be ranked number 3 in the nation (none of us can figure out that one) had his team performing pretty well during the first quarter. In fact, they scored 14 of their 17 points during the first half, but it was what happened after the Rice Krispie and Gatorade snacks at halftime that was demoralizing for the Hogs. And as he should have, Les the Hat just ran that score right on up. And that is what made Bobby Petrino very angry.
I cannot, nay, will not tell you what he said, which CBS aired just like full frontal nudity (minus the audio). It did not take an expert lip reader to know exactly how he felt about Les running up that score. If his Mama saw it, she surely washed out his mouth with a big old bar of soap. And CBS needs to get ahold of their director for staying on that shot. Shame on them! There were children watching! And he wouldn't even shake Les' hand when the game ended. Spoiled sport!
At least six, yes six college football coaches have been fired this past week. The two most recognizable - Ron Zook (former Florida coach) was let go at Illinois, and Rick Neuheisel at UCLA. These schools want to compete don't you know - they want to come on up here and play with us big boys - of course, that's not going to happen, but you can't fault them for wishing that it would.
Another hire that I will now mention - Rich Rodriguez, the almost Alabama coach (thank you Lord for Saban)-failed Michigan coach, was hired to coach the University of Arizona. I know nothing about them except I think they're in the PAC 25. And another thing - his reported $10 million dollar contract means he'll never play in the pool with Urban, whose $40 million is just outrageous. Which, come to think of it, will make his next breakdown that much more spectacular. At any rate, Rich Rod seems very happy. And Bama fans will always be indebted to his wife, Rita, who kept him from taking the Alabama coaching job.
Meanwhile, up on Rocky Top, Derek Dooley made sure to undo every bit of good will he may have built after beating Vandy by losing to an equally awful Kentucky team. And, in so doing, breaking a 26 game Tennessee win streak for the Volunteers. Vols fans are looking for Phillip Fulmer (it's rumored he's up in Jackson Hole, Wyoming) so they can apologize and beg him to come back home. Very much like Auburn fans are now back on the Let's-Blame-Tuberville bandwagon, although they're also ready to boot Chizik, Roof, and Gus Malzahn and his wife, Krazy Kristi. Google the wife for the craziest thing you'll likely see this season.
I have no words for my adopted Rebels after their Egg Bowl loss, except, R.I.P. - Houston Dale is now gone, and the sun will rise perhaps brighter than ever. And maybe Colonel Reb will have the last laugh.
Glory Hallelujah! The Dawgs beat Georgia Tech and are now headed to the SEC Championship Game to face LSU -Geaux Tigers! And Steve Spurrier's little old team up in South Carolina handed former Bama assistant Dabo Swinney and his Clemson Tigers a big loss. Go Cocks! It was a great weekend in the SEC!
Surely the Tide is headed for the National Championship Game and a rematch with LSU. I mean, how could I write a more perfect ending to this season? Of course, I could not. And in the interim, we'll be pulling for the Sooners to beat OK State in their conference championship; I think we'll be pulling for LSU against Georgia in the SEC championship; and the Tide faithful will continue to dodge the arrows being shot to keep us out of the Big Game. Remember, Tide fans - stay low to the ground, keep a smile on your face, and whatever you do - don't gloat! Don't ever gloat.
'Til next time -
Roll Tide, friends, Roll Tide!
